Easter
It's been Easter holiday since before Valentine's Day, according to department stores. Many people think of Easter as the time to get new clothes, look up egg decorations, white rabbits, and sometimes spring break (depending on where you go to school). And oftentimes, Christians can think of Easter like that. I know I have.
But lately, as I've been realizing how much God truly loves me, I've been contemplating what really went down at Passover week circa AD 30. Especially what happened on Good Friday. As often as I think about the Crucifixion, I don't think about Jesus Himself.
Today, in preparation for next Sunday, my pastor preached on what happened before the Crucifixion - Jesus' scourging, his mocking, the shame he endured at the hands of the Roman soldiers and Jewish citizens - from Matthew 27. I always cry at the thought of the Crucifixion - at what he suffered. However, today, I really had to hold back the tears in church. Jesus really suffered - for me! Of all people, he loved me. He died for me.
Out of everybody on the planet who ever lived, he chose me! And it just brings me to my knees, knowing how much I've let Him down, yet He still loves me. No matter how often I live in sin, how often I choose my flesh over His Spirit - He. . . Wow. Just wow! It brings me to tears. His love for me moves me.
But let this sink in - how often to we enslave ourselves to the sin He freed us from? How often does His love move us to our knees, but not to action? How often do we prove the Bible wrong, living in fear when perfect love (which Jesus shows to us) is supposed to cast out every fear? How often are we Christians, who are supposed to be lights, strangers, a peculiar people, live as hypocrites?
I recently have enslaved myself to sin. One of many sins I am supposed to be free from. God's love moves me - to tears, not to action. I raise my hands in the car or shower when I listen to "Fierce" by JesusCulture and "No Longer Slaves" by Bethel Music; but I don't raise my voice to tell others about that love. I am afraid of what my coworkers think of me when I say that I listen to Christian music, that I go to church, that I don't have sex, that I don't drink. I don't take to heart the words of "You Make Me Brave" by Bethel Music. I don't really let God use "Be the Change" by Britt Nicole to move me.
I am a hypocrite.
I try. I try to be different. I sing to myself at work when it's slow - Christian songs. I don't swear at work - that much. I do a little when I'm frustrated, but mostly when I'm talking to friends and I want to fit in. I don't want to be different. I don't want to be made fun of. I'm already made fun of because I'm known as a "good girl" at work. I've never had sex, never drank alcohol, don't listen to rap, never done a lot of things that most of my coworkers have done. And I'm made fun of it. And I think to myself, "Do I really want to be made fun of because I'm a Christian?" They might think I don't enjoy being a good girl, that I enjoy being a Christian. They might think that I am not a Christian because I'm forced to. I'm a Christian because I actually chose to be this way. They won't understand.
But how do I make them understand that if I don't speak up for myself? I don't really try because. . . I am ashamed of my faith in the world.
So, how do I make my own private life match my public life? How do I become unashamed of my faith? I mean, I try to read my Bible everyday, and some people at work know I read it while I'm on break. I know I don't pray as often as I should. . . Which is probably why I'm having such a hard time being who I am in public. I don't let Christ control my private life, so why should my public life be any different?
So. This Easter, why don't we let God change us, let Him move us to action. Not action motivated by guilt, but rather by love.
~
Dear Lord,
I'm so sorry for not letting You control my life. I'm so sorry for being ashamed of You. I'm sorry I haven't let Your love move me to action.
Lord, I thank You for your perfect, unconditional love. I thank You for Your just forgiveness. I thank You for dying for me. It always moves me. You actually love me that much! I could never love somebody to that extent. No one could love me like that. But You. You just. . . I can't explain it, Lord. I thank You so, so much, Lord.
Lord, please move me to action. Help me not to be ashamed of You. Humble me to the point where I realize I can't do anything without You.
Amen.
But lately, as I've been realizing how much God truly loves me, I've been contemplating what really went down at Passover week circa AD 30. Especially what happened on Good Friday. As often as I think about the Crucifixion, I don't think about Jesus Himself.
Today, in preparation for next Sunday, my pastor preached on what happened before the Crucifixion - Jesus' scourging, his mocking, the shame he endured at the hands of the Roman soldiers and Jewish citizens - from Matthew 27. I always cry at the thought of the Crucifixion - at what he suffered. However, today, I really had to hold back the tears in church. Jesus really suffered - for me! Of all people, he loved me. He died for me.
Out of everybody on the planet who ever lived, he chose me! And it just brings me to my knees, knowing how much I've let Him down, yet He still loves me. No matter how often I live in sin, how often I choose my flesh over His Spirit - He. . . Wow. Just wow! It brings me to tears. His love for me moves me.
But let this sink in - how often to we enslave ourselves to the sin He freed us from? How often does His love move us to our knees, but not to action? How often do we prove the Bible wrong, living in fear when perfect love (which Jesus shows to us) is supposed to cast out every fear? How often are we Christians, who are supposed to be lights, strangers, a peculiar people, live as hypocrites?
I recently have enslaved myself to sin. One of many sins I am supposed to be free from. God's love moves me - to tears, not to action. I raise my hands in the car or shower when I listen to "Fierce" by JesusCulture and "No Longer Slaves" by Bethel Music; but I don't raise my voice to tell others about that love. I am afraid of what my coworkers think of me when I say that I listen to Christian music, that I go to church, that I don't have sex, that I don't drink. I don't take to heart the words of "You Make Me Brave" by Bethel Music. I don't really let God use "Be the Change" by Britt Nicole to move me.
I am a hypocrite.
I try. I try to be different. I sing to myself at work when it's slow - Christian songs. I don't swear at work - that much. I do a little when I'm frustrated, but mostly when I'm talking to friends and I want to fit in. I don't want to be different. I don't want to be made fun of. I'm already made fun of because I'm known as a "good girl" at work. I've never had sex, never drank alcohol, don't listen to rap, never done a lot of things that most of my coworkers have done. And I'm made fun of it. And I think to myself, "Do I really want to be made fun of because I'm a Christian?" They might think I don't enjoy being a good girl, that I enjoy being a Christian. They might think that I am not a Christian because I'm forced to. I'm a Christian because I actually chose to be this way. They won't understand.
But how do I make them understand that if I don't speak up for myself? I don't really try because. . . I am ashamed of my faith in the world.
So, how do I make my own private life match my public life? How do I become unashamed of my faith? I mean, I try to read my Bible everyday, and some people at work know I read it while I'm on break. I know I don't pray as often as I should. . . Which is probably why I'm having such a hard time being who I am in public. I don't let Christ control my private life, so why should my public life be any different?
So. This Easter, why don't we let God change us, let Him move us to action. Not action motivated by guilt, but rather by love.
~
Dear Lord,
I'm so sorry for not letting You control my life. I'm so sorry for being ashamed of You. I'm sorry I haven't let Your love move me to action.
Lord, I thank You for your perfect, unconditional love. I thank You for Your just forgiveness. I thank You for dying for me. It always moves me. You actually love me that much! I could never love somebody to that extent. No one could love me like that. But You. You just. . . I can't explain it, Lord. I thank You so, so much, Lord.
Lord, please move me to action. Help me not to be ashamed of You. Humble me to the point where I realize I can't do anything without You.
Amen.
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